Going on the Yankee Fan DL

I turned the game off last night. We were up 3 to nothing and, as is becoming the norm, we couldn’t put the stake in our opponent’s heart. By the end of the 6th inning, we were down 4 to 3. My patience had run out, and I was not willing to invest any more time in sloppy baseball. (I had already put up with a 4 hour, 46 minute loss to the Red Sox a few days ago.) So, when I read the paper this morning, I was happily surprised to see that we came back against the Rangers and won. But my fan ego is bruised and wearing thin. My fan ego needs a break. And that’s why I’m heading to the Fan DL.

I’m not giving up on the Yankees this year. There’s still a lot of baseball to play, but I need a little rest from the daily grind. It’s the same old, same old. Trying to figure out who is playing third base. Waiting and waiting for star players to come off the DL. Watching our second- and third-stringers get injured. Accepting that a few won’t be back this year. Cursing out our offense. Gazing at our pitchers gazing at home run balls sail out into the night. Finding out that no win is an easy win. Hoping that we don’t waste Mo’s last season with the team. Geez, it’s the Bad News Bears with Hiroki Kuroda playing the Tatum O’Neal part.

The Bad News Bears starring Walter Matthau as Joe Girardi

The Bad News Bears starring Walter Matthau as Joe Girardi

Not to mention the fact that there’s an A-Rod story floating through the media channels every day. But we should thank Ryan Braun for taking the heat for a few days. And speaking of doping, I will admit it—yes, I am putting large amounts of alcohol into my bloodstream while I watch the Yankees play.

So I’m heading to the Fan DL, where I can keep up with the team but not actually travel with the team. I’d like to rehab quickly and get back to cheering for the Yanks on a daily basis, but I need some encouragement. I am appealing to you, Exiles, to get me back on track. Send me a pep talk, a Knute Rockne humdinger to get me excited about Yankee baseball again. Leave a few choice words in the comments section. Talk me off the ledge. I’ll check back with you when I come back from my MRI appointment.

It gets late early out there.


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