“Questions, questions, questions? No questions? Then everybody take out a piece of paper and something to write with. Time for a quiz.” Way back in my high school American History class this is how my teacher (good ol’ Mr. Ryan) would surprise us with a pop-quiz. And this is exactly what Derek Jeter said the other day. No more opportunities for questions about the ankle—it’s time to start playing instead of talking. But it’s so hard to get all those questions out of your head. And believe me, the Yankees have more questions than the fourth season of “Lost.”
How strong is Jeter’s ankle? What about these headaches that Mo is having? Granderson’s rehab? A-Rod’s possible steroid use? Teixeira’s tendon sheath? How will Hughes pitch in a real game? Cano’s contract? Can Chien-Ming Wang play first base? Will Youkilis remember that he’s a Yankee now? Do the Yankees get a group discount on surgeries performed before Opening Day? And oh, so many more. It boggles the mind.
It’s only right that we would have questions at this time of year anyway because it’s Passover. And if you’re not familiar with the Jewish tradition, during the Seder dinner, four questions are asked about why this night is different than all other nights. Perhaps you haven’t heard that Brian Cashman has changed the questions this year for all Yankee fans of the Jewish faith.
The Four Questions:
1) Why is this night different from most other nights? Because this evening we are not playing a baseball game which means that no one can get injured.
2) Why do we let Red Sox Nation eat bitter herbs? To remind them of the bitterness of this rivalry and how misery will always find them.
3) Why is the number 56 carved into the brisket? To commemorate Joe DiMaggio’s 56-game hitting streak–a record that will never be broken.
4) Why is Mariano Rivera allowed to recline on this night? He’s the greatest closer of all time–he can do whatever he wants.
Amen and let’s finally play ball!
It gets late early out there.