“Rafael Soriano who? No, wait, don’t answer that. Just please leave. I can’t stand looking at your face right now.”
Yeah, it’s a bad knock-knock joke, but I bet if I told it to my preschool class, I could get a big laugh. The things that pass for humor in the mind of a four-year old are definitely not Seinfeld material. Here’s the latest knock-knock joke from our class comedian:
“Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Ghost.” “Ghost who?” “Ghosts like to smash bananas on the floor!” Within seconds, the laughter from sixteen kids is deafening. Killer material. Yet I’ve got to give it to him; the man knows his audience. But I digress….
For the second night in a row, Soriano came in from the bullpen and gave up important runs in the late innings. The White Sox have taken advantage of Soriano’s mistakes (kudos to your team, Bobby), but this is a guy whose huge salary dictates that he should be lights out when he comes in. The Yankees added Soriano to their roster in the winter–a three-year deal worth $35 million. He’s allowed nine runs on 12 hits in 11 appearances, running up a 7.84 ERA. My cat could pitch better. And you could pay him a lot less. (He’d probably do the job for just a few cat toys filled with catnip.)
So the next time Soriano comes into a game, open your windows and give a listen. You might be able to hear me chanting “Ghosts smash bananas! Ghosts smash bananas!” He doesn’t deserve better material until he does the job and becomes less of a joke.
On a happier note, the Boston media and sports callers have been distracted from baseball today because the Bruins are facing elimination in the playoffs tonight. Otherwise, they would be having a heyday with this Yankee pitching blunder. They’ve even put the Red Sox on the back burner, which is probably for the better since the Orioles beat them last night. (The Best Team Ever is still playing under .500 ball.)
It gets late early out there.